Tomato pie – A Southern Classic?


People keep pinning Tomato Pie on Pinterest with all these claims that every Southerner loves these things.  As a definite Southern Girl, I was intrigued since I’ve never heard of such a thing.  I thought maybe some southerners had just renamed tomato quiche so I went to check out the recipe.  Guys, it looks so disgusting!  Why would one cook with that much mayonnaise?!!

But then, I reminded myself of the ingredients of mayonnaise: oil, eggs, vinegar, maybe some spices.  If I saw a recipe that called for these things I wouldn’t be repulsed, so why be repulsed by mayonnaise?  Maybe it’s just a shortcut to quiche?  So I went out and found a recipe with the least amount of mayonnaise that I could find and figured I’d give it a shot.

It’s not a shortcut to quiche.  This shit is disgusting. A complete waste of perfectly good ingredients.  I had a bite yesterday around lunchtime and I’m still gagging.

But hey, I actually took pictures so here’s the process of making this garbage.  Maybe you like garbage!


Tomato pie

  • Pie crust
  • Three or four tomatoes
  • A handful of fresh basil
  • 2 cups of grated cheese (I used mozzarella and Monterey Jack)
  • 3/4 cup mayonnaise

Preheat oven to 350F.  Stick your pie crust in there a few minutes to brown up.

What terrific ingredients I started out with! And they just went to waste!

What terrific ingredients I started out with! And they just went to waste!

Next, you need to peel your tomatoes.  Just boil a large pot of water and dunk the tomatoes in there for 30 seconds.

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Next, plop those hot tomatoes into a bowl of ice water.  The peels should just slide right off and you can slice them really easily.

Now you’ll line the bottom of your pie crust with tomato slices.

Still looking delicious, right?

Still looking delicious, right?

And that fresh basil.

I would eat the hell of what has been put together so far.

I would eat the hell of what has been put together so far.

In a mixing bowl, mix together your cheeses and mayonnaise.

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Looks icky. But hey, maybe it will turn out okay?

Spread over the tomato and basil.

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I mean, at this point it looked maybe like it would turn out like a ricotta pie. At least that’s how the texture looked to me, so maybe it would be okay?

Bake at 350F for 30 minutes, until the top starts to turn golden.

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It looks pretty! I’m sure it will be a delicious and super-easy quiche!

Nope.

Nope.


To make up for the horror of this post, here’s a picture of some of the flowers I planted last night.

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We had a heat advisory going yesterday (and today) so I waited until about 8 PM to start digging in the yard.  I was still drenched in sweat within a minute.  Hell, I had gotten drenched just taking my neighbors some of my most recent batch of tomato sauce!

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